Strategies For A Happier Day


I've noticed some stuff about how my moment to moment choices affect my days.

If I give in to grumpiness it stays or gets worse. Then small, truly inconsequential things bother me more and I close down to other possibilities. Conversely, when I notice the grumpiness and do what I need to get past it (not always easy!) I have a much more fulfilling day.

When I make a point of saying hi! to others and engaging them in conversation, I leave the exchange feeling lighter and more alive.

Playing fun little games with my awareness opens me to experiences I otherwise wouldn't have. For example, some days I decide to notice everything that is a certain colour. Not only does this remind me throughout the day how much I usually shut out, but it focuses my attention on stuff I may have passed many times and simply not seen.

Learning is always and everywhere. My days are richer when I'm able to remember that and ask myself what is the learning? Especially in difficult or painful moments.

I have a little phrase I try to remember daily- 'it has to be fun.' I am aware that life sometimes serves up experiences that are less than fun and that's a different situation altogether. What I'm talking about is rating my actions and reactions with the yardstick of whether I am having as much fun as I can in a particular moment. This helps me to focus on what matters most to me- engagement and personal satisfaction.

I notice that my mind is constantly spewing judgement. And sometimes my judgements create distance from others when what I really want is more connection.

If I actually listen to others, really listen, I'm reminded of how much I usually disregard or simply don't get when I'm in my usual mode of making every exchange so much about me.

Starting my day with conscious intention is incredibly powerful.

Engaging different senses is a way for me to have wider experience. Closing my eyes and just listening or smelling or touching or hearing lets me remember how much of the world I experience through sight. And how much of the other sense impressions get filtered out or disregarded.

The easiest thing I can do for a happier day is to just look at people and smile.

When I write this down it all seems so easy and simple. Yet how often I get caught up in busyness, anxiety, frustration, and the feeling that the world is an obstacle course set up to thwart my desires. But I know the world is what I make of it, and in my choices are embodied outcomes that are somewhat predictable. I simply need to choose to be open rather that closed.
And I need to continue welcoming others into my life however I can.

Holographic Happiness

I experienced my life as a hologram recently. It happened while I was running.

As a challenge I decided to train for a 10 kilometre run this year and am now in week 9 of three training runs a week. What I notice about my choices and inner dialogue while running is an insight into what I feel and how I make decisions in other areas of my life. Let me give you an example.

Often when running I feel as though I can't go on, at times I really really really just want to stop and do something way easier and more fulfilling (like watching a movie and eating junk food for example). What often happens, though, is I become more determined to complete my goal of running that day.

I ran 9K on the seawall this past weekend and the course was around a number of forested points jutting into English Bay, with a short path visible to each point. Each time I rounded a point and saw no clues about how close I might be to the end of the run, I felt my resolve weakening. But each time I made it my goal to reach the next outcropping. And my inner voice said 'I will make it to the end no matter what." What's funny is that I played a little mind game on myself, agreeing internally that I could stop and walk a bit if I reached the next point and needed a rest. But at the same time I knew I wouldn't be stopping until I reached the end.

Reaching my goal became a point of pride and accomplishment. And I did this knowing that a successful non-stop finish would contribute to my happiness. It would be a more fulfilling result and I would feel happier in my sense of achievement.

I realize that within each experience is a reflection of the larger picture of my happiness. I can be present in any moment, get insights into my attitude towards my own happiness, and recognize choices I make and the reasons I make them. I can then filter that information through the screen of the question Is this choice more likely to lead to a richer, happier outcome, or is it not? The answer I get can inform my choices in other areas.

The metaphor of each moment being a hologram of life choices and behaviours has become very powerful to me. What an amazing short cut to self-knowledge and positive change this is! And these insights are available to me all the time and anywhere.