Happiness at Harvard

A course on happiness is popular at Harvard University according to a recent article. Is it really surprising that a lot of people are interested in happiness?

In retrospect I wish there had been a section on happiness when I was in high school (or even elementary school). What a head start that would have been! I imagine getting some ideas early on about happiness. Standing on the shoulders of those who had previously travelled the path I was to find myself on by my teen years. I'm not talking about a carved-in-stone list of happiness musts. More like a study of what others have found useful. Even just a list of various quotes on the subject would have been better than the nothing I got.

What is particularly frustrating to me now is the lack of awareness of such simple stategies as conscious intention, personal integrity, and introspection as choices more likely to lead to a happier, richer life.

Such information is now readily available under the name (and Harvard course title) of Positive Psychology. Lots of research has been done in the past couple of decades regarding happiness and a lot of what I could have used in my past is now readily available.

Much of what our culture tells us about happiness is just not true. For example, there is only minimal correlation between wealth and happiness, and most predominately during the period when those living in poverty are becoming able to provide for basic needs.

There seems to be a 'happiness set point' that determines the range of happiness we each are able to experience. The key is that we can make choices to enhance our level of happiness, no matter where in the range we normally operate.

I'd love to live in a culture that celebrates happiness. A culture that prides itself on nurturing a happiness not dangled as a carrot dependent on income level or material achievement or consumption.

I say let's shout happiness news from the rooftops! How about including happiness strategies in the daily papers, on cereal boxes, in movie trailers... Now I'm getting a bit silly, but the point I'm trying to make is that the information is out there and much of what we can do to lead richer, happier lives is very simple to grasp. Mostly, we just need to be reminded. I know I do. Let's live happier!

ClutterMind: The Unexamined Scourge

There is a blight on the land and in our minds. A relentless, eternally patient and everpresent interloper that saps the concentration of many. Most of us have experienced its symptoms: confusion; inability to focus; forgotten goals; the chaos of cluttered thinking. This master of mayhem I call ClutterMind.

It is a constant visitor in my life. It's the tendency to overwhelm myself with many details, commitments, doubts, judgements, etc. While I'm in this state I feel way less able to focus on what I know is best for me. Way less able to remember my goals let alone work towards them. It's as though the decisions I've made for myself, for my forward movement, for the realization of my desires, just fall by the wayside. I return to a state of helplessness, a place of confusion, where I have little or no sense of control.

My pal Elinor Warkentin, an organizer and clutter consultant, says on her website that clutter blocks us from moving forward, and that physical clutter is often a manifestation of mental clutter. I think Elinor is as much a counsellor as she is a clutter consultant. And I think she's right.

My mental state manifests in the physical world. The more I experience ClutterMind, the less likely I am to maintain orderly surroundings. When I suffer from ClutterMind I am less likely to have order in my physical world. I'm less able to concentrate, make decisions, stay organized, establish priorities, and work toward goals. Chuck Gallozzi talks about this in a recent article that deals with the effects of mental and physical clutter.

Knowing the dynamics helps, but changing is a challenge. Sometimes I'm able to stop and realize that I need to focus on just one thing of importance. When I've accomplished even one simple task I'm more able to change the muddle to mindfulness. And although the concept of a house full of undone to-do lists strikes me as a potential liability (not to mention being the fodder of stand-up comics), making the odd list and crossing off as I go seems to help me focus.

I seem to exist on a continuum, with some control over where I am at any given moment. But it's hard to be present enough, intentional enough, to choose my spot within the range of available possibilities.

I'm getting better at recognizing how Cluttermind feels in action. This gives me more chances to choose differently, and the more I practice the better I get at conscious choice. Plus, it becomes more likely I'll continue adding to the amount of time I'm able to function in a clearer frame of mind.

Snowing in Seattle


It happened about fifteen years ago. The snow came down so fast the city was pretty much paralyzed in just a few hours. My partner and I had gone to Seattle for a visit and watched the snow pile up outside the window of a Mexican restaurant in Pike Place Market.

As the flakes grew thicker on the ground we made our way outside. There we discovered many people heading home, fleeing the city early as the white got deeper.

Down to the bus tunnel. Lots of people waiting for buses that never came. We headed up again and decided to walk. I-5 was literally a parking lot. We later heard the gridlock was so complete that drivers began running out of gas and abandoning their cars, making it impossible to clear the highway other than with tow trucks. Along the way we helped push an ambulance uphill, passed several empty buses abandoned on corners, saw a bus with just two people inside: a weary-looking driver talking to a person in a wheelchair.

I am fascinated by circumstances that cause the usual flow to back up and find a new path, like water around an obstacle. What a wonder that day was!

It took us three hours to walk back to our friends' place. On the way we ducked into still-open businesses to get warm, made snow-angels, and tossed snowballs, moving ever slower through the increasing depths.

The most interesting part of the day was seeing the reactions of other people. They seemed mostly to fall into three camps: playfully enjoying the unexpected magic; matter-of-factly coping; or grumpily decrying the horrible experience.

Same outward experience, varied reactions.

What to say about that? At first I felt sad for the grumps, even superior- I am so evolved and able to adapt and enjoy! But you know what? Every reaction I saw that day is in me and I manifest them all at times. How often have other people relished an unexpected turn of events that I chose to resist and be annoyed by? And how many times have I become more grumpy when I see other people reacting to a shared event in a more joyful way than me? We were recipients of some of that in Seattle. The judgemental stares, the tsk-tsk-ing, the comments- "what are you so happy about?"

Sure, we were in Seattle on a visit, not anxious to get home to family and dinner and rest. We had no firm commitments. Seeing others react so differently to the snow was a mirror for me. I can't help acknowledging how often I choose the grumpy path. I experience grumpiness for different reasons, but the truth is I still choose it! Or, more accurately, I choose not to choose when the reaction arises, which someone far wiser than me has said is actually a choice!

This is certainly not a new idea...psychologist Wayne Fleisig has published an amusing article as a reminder. What I'm getting at is the need to be more intentional. I want to make choices that are more likely to lead to a richer, more satisfying life.

I remember arriving at our friends' that night feeling a good kind of tired, having played and felt the wonder of nature's message to us that life is not always predictable. That we don't always get the expected. But there were some folks that day, I suspect, that arrived home dwelling on adversity, inconvenience, and how life is such a slog. Hmmmmm, which outcome do I prefer?

Reminder to self: I am constantly choosing my reactions and can intentionally create the potential for a richer, happier life. And I want to live my life with wonder, as though it's always snowing in Seattle.