An Early Snow

Woke up this morning to an inch of snow with about four more in the forecast. Reminds me of how much my attitude has changed towards the unexpected in my life.

For a long time when something got in the way of what I expected I'd get all grumpy and dissatisfied. For a long time I was able to recognize how silly that reaction was but remained unable to change it. And then I had an epiphany.

I'd been managing a small pizza business that had been allowed to deteriorate before I took over. Long hours and much work took up all my energy and focus and I'd not allowed myself permission to take care of myself. After many weeks with no days off, and just when I felt like I was getting close to having the place running well again, I arrived one morning to find that the restaurant had been broken into overnight. Fridges were emptied onto the floor, tables were overturned, the front window and door were smashed, food and beverages littered every surface. Talk about the unexpected (and extremely unwelcome!)

After doing the reporting-of-a-crime dance with the police, having the window and door boarded up, and arranging for their replacement, I locked up and called a friend. We spent an amazing day playing frisbee and then hanging out at the fairgrounds. We rode the roller coaster a bunch of times and talked about the breakin and how I hadn't been paying enough attention to what I most needed. The breakin forced me to look at how hard I had been working, how driven I felt, and how much I had ignored my needs beyond the immediate task I had with the restaurant. I began to see my morning as a huge reminder. I was able to get back on track, include my needs into the mix, remember how important friends and human contact are, and get some valuable perspective that remains with me today.


The sudden, early snow has brought other options to the fore. I now seek comfort indoors (although we will likely go for a walk in the gently falling flakes) and I get to remember how blessed I am to have comfortable shelter, good friends, a variety of choices, and to live in a city that gives me snow occasionally as a pristine counterpoint to the usual weather we have. How could I possibly be grumpy or dissatisfied with such richness? What can be perceived as an impediment can also be seen as a catalyst, a reminder, and a blessing. Everything is, to some degree, what we decide it is!

So- gratitude for snow and breakins and friends and choice and...

A Happier Birthday?


A recent article claims that we are more likely to have a heart attack on our birthday than on any other day of the year, apparently because we view the day as a negative. Funny...I mostly view birthdays as just another day of the year unless it's a milestone birthday- divisible by 10 for example.

I'm always a bit baffled when people say 'wouldn't it be great to be 18 again (or 25 or 30 or 50)?' I have absolutely no desire to return to a previous age, I want to be exactly how old I am right now! And even though I'm a bit more tempted when the person adds 'if you could go back knowing what you know now' I still have a strong no response. I don't want to reexperience my earlier life from the perspective I've gained during and since that time. I don't want to give up the wonder of naivete, or the fun of not knowing but plunging ahead anyway. And I surely don't want to forgo the progression of experience and understanding that comes from the various stages of life.

I will turn 50 in 6 months and I find that baffling (as I say to friends- how can I be turning 50 when I'm still just 25?), exciting (what will it be like to become older? I'm beginning to feel the physical effects of aging and I'm on my second prescription for reading glasses), scary (I've begun thinking of how and when I'll die- probably doesn't help that my partner is a palliative care nurse!), and precious (each age that I experience has it's own lessons, it's own feel and structure and gifts).

Birthdays are generally neither positive nor negative to me, although when I'm in a period of rapid growth or challenge I tend to view birthdays as especially positive. That particular day of the year becomes a reminder to reflect on my life: to ponder whether I wish to continue on the path I'm choosing; to reassess and choose another; or to fine-tune the one I choose to remain on.

As I've said in other blogs, we truly have only this moment. Birthdays help me to remember that and to focus on what really matters.