Three Simple Piles

Ever get stressed out because there's just too much competing for your attention? When that happens I often end up doing little or nothing.

Fortunately I've learned a great strategy for prioritizing: do it now, do it later or decide not to do it at all.

It's amazing how much stress this simple strategy can remove. Firstly, by letting me drop some stuff immediately when I decide that I really don't need to give it my attention, ever. And then by encouraging me to sort the rest into now or later. I'm then able to focus on a small part and get it done without getting all stressed out about what I'm not addressing at that moment. Works like a charm!

Enough

Why do so many of us go through the world acting as though there's not enough to go around? Enough love, attention, praise, opportunity? It's like we're standing in water and wondering how we're going to rehydrate.

If we're just able to let go a little and trust that we can have what we need, we can begin to experience the incredible abundance that surrounds us all. We begin to see the many ways our needs are met when we challenge our feelings of scarcity and lack. I'm reminded of how many times I've praised someone and they respond as though they haven't heard me. It's like we're so focused on how limited things are (including ourselves) that we can only focus on examples of how we can't have what we need.

We can have what we need! And flexibility and openness are powerful allies in recognizing abundance. When I decide precisely what I want, I can blind myself to opportunities that present themselves in other guises. As someone once said, opportunity will knock but you have to open the door.

Believe there are doors, trust there are doors, recognize the doors, hear the knock, and open to opportunity. There is enough!

The Wonder Of Wonder

How much I choose not to notice the amazing world through which I travel each day! How often I choose not to fully experience the wonder of life.

I want to manifest wonder in two senses of the word- as in awe (noun) and to have curiosity about (verb).

To be alive is a wonder! That we can eat and breathe and excrete and move and reason and choose...wondrous. And yet we take it all so much for granted. To focus, even for a moment, on something so simple and miraculous as our breathing is to touch the wonder of our existence. To pause, even for the briefest of time, and consciously sense the world, is to open to the incredible magic that surrounds us every day, every moment.

To have curiosity is to invite a greater understanding of what surrounds us and to open to the sense of awe at our life and our world. This can be a simple as saying to someone, "I wonder what that's like," or as complex as undertaking a determined study of a subject of interest. I find I can touch wonder quite easily when I just simply listen to others. Really listen, not just hear. Allow others the space to express their knowledge, understanding and experiences. Someone recently told me a great reminder for this. It is to remember the word 'WAIT' when talking to others- an acronym for Why Am I Talking. A reminder to simply listen. And further, to elicit other people's take on life and living.

I wish to add more wonder to my life by recognizing the wondrous life I live and the opportunities I have to feel and acknowledge the wonder inherent in that life. And all I have to do is remember to open myself. Wonder opens me to such richness and all I have to do is remember to say YES!

Alone But Not Lonely

I have a strange feeling of shame when I tell people I need to be alone. Like they're going to judge me as being unconnected to others, or that I'm anti-social or something.

The thing is, I need time alone. Some of my richest moments are spent with myself. It gives me space to recharge, to process events, to calmly go within and remember my purpose, and to revisit my centre where I know absolutely who I am and why I'm here. The busy-ness, demands, and distractions of living sometimes take me from these things and I value the reminding. It helps me be the best person I can be.

And still...it's hard to say, "Sorry, but no, I need to be alone today." Strange how I've learned to feel awkward about doing something that is so life-enriching. And that sometimes I choose to be with others while avoiding what I need the most right then.

Note to self: being alone is definitely not about being lonely or anti-social, and spending time with myself is time well spent.

Just Ask!

It totally amazes me how often I get what I want when I simply ask. And how often I choose not to ask for what I need or want out of fear or embarrassment or a sense of unworthiness.

I think that part of saying yes to life involves expressing our needs in order for them to be met, if possible. Let me be clear that I'm not advocating a demanding stance, or manipulation for the purposes of cajoling or pressuring others to bend to my will. I'm simply suggesting that we say what we want, clearly and honestly, and with an open heart. It's astounding how often such requests are answered positively.

And yet fear intrudes, or social restraints against being greedy, or needy, or rude. I think that one of the greatest things we can do as human beings is to be honest and open to others about our needs. It feels risky because the response may not be what we hope, but in risking the unknown we open ourselves to opportunities that otherwise may never be available to us. And in opening to others we invite reciprocation, which creates connection, and the comfort of mutual support and understanding.

All this and more by just asking.

The Small Stuff Is Big!

A German Press Agency story says the small stuff we do is big when it comes to happiness. l agree that some simple strategies like thinking positive and being thankful are likely to result in a happier life, that physical activity helps, and some states of mind are best avoided. But a more encompassing, universal strategy can go a long way to setting the tone for a day, a week or a lifetime. That strategy is conscious intention.

To start each day with an intention that reflects our core beliefs, and that we have chosen specifically to create the richest possible life for ourselves is very powerful. Imagine leaving home each day with the basic intention to have the happiest day possible! And imagine remembering that intention throughout the day as we experience the various irritations and annoyances that, collectively, we turn into 'a bad day' because of how we react.

We already have everything we need to be happier and it's all in our attitude. Even in the worst circumstances there is potential for choosing a happier response. I love that the word creation has the same letters as the word reaction. It reminds me that we can craft seriously different responses from the same situations.

I choose to live a life of creation rather than reaction! And I know from experience that doing so results in an incrementally richer life.

An Early Snow

Woke up this morning to an inch of snow with about four more in the forecast. Reminds me of how much my attitude has changed towards the unexpected in my life.

For a long time when something got in the way of what I expected I'd get all grumpy and dissatisfied. For a long time I was able to recognize how silly that reaction was but remained unable to change it. And then I had an epiphany.

I'd been managing a small pizza business that had been allowed to deteriorate before I took over. Long hours and much work took up all my energy and focus and I'd not allowed myself permission to take care of myself. After many weeks with no days off, and just when I felt like I was getting close to having the place running well again, I arrived one morning to find that the restaurant had been broken into overnight. Fridges were emptied onto the floor, tables were overturned, the front window and door were smashed, food and beverages littered every surface. Talk about the unexpected (and extremely unwelcome!)

After doing the reporting-of-a-crime dance with the police, having the window and door boarded up, and arranging for their replacement, I locked up and called a friend. We spent an amazing day playing frisbee and then hanging out at the fairgrounds. We rode the roller coaster a bunch of times and talked about the breakin and how I hadn't been paying enough attention to what I most needed. The breakin forced me to look at how hard I had been working, how driven I felt, and how much I had ignored my needs beyond the immediate task I had with the restaurant. I began to see my morning as a huge reminder. I was able to get back on track, include my needs into the mix, remember how important friends and human contact are, and get some valuable perspective that remains with me today.


The sudden, early snow has brought other options to the fore. I now seek comfort indoors (although we will likely go for a walk in the gently falling flakes) and I get to remember how blessed I am to have comfortable shelter, good friends, a variety of choices, and to live in a city that gives me snow occasionally as a pristine counterpoint to the usual weather we have. How could I possibly be grumpy or dissatisfied with such richness? What can be perceived as an impediment can also be seen as a catalyst, a reminder, and a blessing. Everything is, to some degree, what we decide it is!

So- gratitude for snow and breakins and friends and choice and...